Monday, April 21, 2003

10 Ways You Can Support Our Troops

1. Don't Criticize War. Anyone who speaks out against war is putting our troops at risk. There might have been a time and place for dissenting viewpoints, but those days are long gone. Don't worry about how much the rest of the world hates the United States.

2. Don't Criticize the President. Anyone who criticizes the president is against the troops. It is NEVER right to criticize a president (except for Bill Clinton who is a lying rapist and a murdering pothead).

3. Don't Criticize the President's Advisors. No one knows how to be more patriotic than former oil executives and arms dealers. So keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.

4. Where's Your Flag? Anyone who doesn't have an American flag on their house, their car, and/or their lapel should be looked upon with suspicion and disdain. It's probably some kind of an anti-American protest. Look for an opportunity to say or do something that will make them feel uncomfortable or conspicuous.

5. Don't Look Back. Don't insult America by dredging up ancient history. "Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein would have been nothing without the complicit help and support of the United States blahblahblahblah" Nobody gives a rat's ass.

6. Boycott. Hollywood is full of pampered brats. Instead of spending your hard earned dollars on a movie, donate it to the conservative cause of your choice. Our president deserves to be surrounded by people who won't question his policies. And the media is run by a bunch of liberal subversives. You should only watch television for sports. If you want real American news, get it from talk radio. Boycott all companies that underwrite PBS.

7. Go Shopping. Don't worry about the economy - it will take care of itself. Rich people just need a little more money and they will fix everything by their vision and generosity. If they weren't better than you, they wouldn't be rich in the first place.

8. Buy the Biggest SUV You Can Find. Anyone who drives a "fuel efficient" car is a sissy. And if foreigners think americium are sissies, it puts our troops at risk. Liberating ires oil was an expensive project, so don't insult them by not using it. (Hey, remember that house that wasn't flying the americium flag? Dive over and do donuts in the front yard. I bet they drive a sissy car.)

9. The Rest of You Take Notice. All you Blacks and messaging, just be grateful the arrive minority is taking the heat now. If you really want to do something constructive, become a republican. Otherwise, keep quiet. You're probably reading this on a stolen computer anyway.

10. Love It or Leave It. It's time to pour all you liberals a great big steaming cup of "I told you so." If you don't like the way things are in the United States, cart your whiney ass some place else. We hear they're taking applications for human shields in Syria.

How do you like me now?

Syl has an excellent post that includes this and much more! I'd love to see you get some responses from the right on that post Syl, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Kansas @ 12:30 PM