WHERE ARE THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
Well, I don't think we should wait. The longer it takes the more chance that Saddam, dead or alive (and you can be sure he's one of them), may use them. Instead of waiting for some Iraqi tattletale to spit it up, I say we use some good old American deduction to figure where Saddam might have hid them.
If you were Saddam, or at least one of his doubles, where would you have stashed them' Here's some to get you started:
- North Korea. They already have them so we'd never know which ones are North Korea's and which ones are the kind we'd invade to find.
- A Dixie Chicks concert. What's ever left of the Iraqi Deck of Missing Evildoers could hide there for years before we'd let our guys within a mile of the event.
- In any movie starring Madonna or Tom Greene. I mean if there are any more.
- At the UPN think tank. Check under the shows on the new Fall schedule before they're canceled...quickly.
- Wherever the Anthrax guy is hiding. Works for him.
Of course, the best places are the ones that may be a bit more difficult to find...
- During a Michael Jackson Dating For The Over 18 Crowd seminar
- At a Tom Delay Compassion For The Environment meeting
- With the L.A. Clipper's chances of ever making the playoffs.
- In any Islamic democracy.
- At the 8th annual convention of Playboy Bunnies Who've Dated Gilbert Gottfried.
- In the American Spectator's annual "Hillary's Da Bomb" issue
- At a Strawberry Alarm Clock reunion tour.
- In the Tom Daschle School of Dynamic Public Speaking
- At the Eminem Charm Society
- Under the pile of Texas death sentence commutation forms
- During a Bill O'Reilly salute to another talk show host
- Inside the new chain of Bea Arthur Strip Clubs
- In the Enron Ethics Manual
- On a Personalities of National Public Radio tour
- At the Rush Limbaugh Berkeley, CA Dittohead Club
- On page 138 of Bill Clinton's "Guide to Your Daughter's Job Search."
- With the skinny woman trapped inside Anna Nicole Smith
- In Baseball Hall of Fame's Salute To Tim Robbins Wing
- During the annual Michael Moore / NRA Barbecue
- During the Ann Coulter Try A Little Tenderness seminar
- At a Jerry Falwell Gay & Lesbian Health Center
But if you ask me, I'd say the most likely place to hide the WMDs -- wherever those damn matching socks are.
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Monday, April 28, 2003
Kansas @ 3:49 AM
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