Baghdad, Iraq- Emerging from the smoke filled streets, and bunkers somewhere in Baghdad, the former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed as-Sahaf, greeted the international press with news he accepted the position of spokesperson, with a leading US tobacco firm.
Mohammed Saeed as-Sahaf wanted to make it very clear that he cut ties with the Iraqi Government and would not be fielding questions about a rumor that Baghdad had fallen.
"I'm here today to dispel rumors about the dangerous effects of Camels. WAR KILLS, NOT CAMELS", Saeed as-Sahaf insisted, as he proudly held up an oversized pack of Camels".
"Doctor's in the United States have been misleading the American people with bullshit, plain old scare tactic bullshit. They cannot connect cancer with Camels, so they come up with Hollywood style theatrics in a feeble attempt to brainwash the public. I'd like to meet this "Surgeon General" of yours, if he wants a War, by the grace of God, I'll give him a Holy Camel War".
"I can tell you that I have been sucking on Camels since I was a child, aside from a few kicks in the nuts, I'm in perfect health". Everyone in Iraq loves their Camels, everyone.
"I can still remember my first Camel, it's an experience I will never forget, never.....".
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf told reporters he looks forward to fighting the War on Camels in the United States, on behalf of the American people.
